To Be Accepted
by DoctyLove
Summary: [discontinuededited] The story takes place after the End of Evangelion. Both Asuka and Shinji are haunted by memories of the past, and must face them before they can face each other. Can one accomplish such a task?


**DISCLAIMER**- In no way do I own Neon Genesis Evangelion, as GAINAX studios does, and no one is making any money off of this fanfiction.

* * *

"This feeling sucks." Shinji's hands slid from Asuka's neck as her fingers fell back onto the sand. Shinji backed up, allowing the girl to get onto her feet; her once brilliant eyes hidden by limp red locks. "Asuka." the boy began before being interrupted by the redhead, "Leave me alone, Shinji." She said, walking slowly away as not to damage her body further. Shinji opened his mouth, a sign of protest, but closed it after realizing what Asuka had been through. Surely it was not pleasant to be utterly torn apart by monstrous beings! He had seen her Eva's mangled body, and at the sight alone he had nearly passed into unconsciousness, and was more than happy to leave her be.

Asuka wandered for some time along the shore of the Dead Sea, finally collapsing next to the red liquid, drenching her hair with the Link Connection Fluid. Sobs wracked her body, mind covered with clouds of despair as thick as the sea itself. Happiness had finally come to her when she realized that her death was soon, then, she was free, free from the madness of life.

But now she was back onto the dying planet, away from the realm she had secretly wished for. Tears coursed from her eyes, only to be roughly brushed away. Once, her life-long vow was to never cry again, and also to be perfect, perfect for her mother that was never there. And in the end, her mother's eyes had passed right through her, and onto the beautiful doll's face. Mind torn, Asuka ripped at her bangs, the red strands flying about. Dolls.why were they so perfect? Why did her mother walk pass her by to embrace the perfect one, and not her, her true daughter. Angry red lines appeared in her vision, and with a strangled cry she tore the bandage from her eye and hurled it at the red lake, blood streaming into her face.

"I hate you mother. I hate you."

Asuka grasped her eye in instant pain as the crimson liquid passed through the protection of her hand, dripping from it onto the sand.

"I hate you." The girl curled into fetal position, her face buried in her hands, rocking herself back and forth. Her EVA was gone along with her mother's soul and protection.

All was truly coming to an end.

* * *

Night. A dark blanket swept the already black sky, succeeding in only darkening it more. No stars were with the darkness, for God seemed to be angered with his people, allowing them no light. The lone female figure lay next to the lake, her sobs quieted and eyes closed for sleep. Her breathing as shallow gasps, a death sign. Through her mind was her childhood, a tale to others of despair. But to her it was nothing like a tale, but pure reality. Her eyebrows knitted as she awoke from the present nightmare. Asuka stood; watching the Dead Sea's waves lap the sand constantly. Tears she had been holding back ruptured, tracing patterns down her pale cheeks. Several made their way into her tight lips, forming an elixir that was bittersweet, as her life had been.

Asuka fell into uneasy rest.

Day. No light found its way into the sky as the girl awoke, eyes and hands sticky with dried blood and tears. How she wanted to be accepted, and to be loved by her mother. How she wanted to be known more to her than just 'the girl over there.' She wanted only to be loved, and for the lover to cherish her for what she was, and not expect anything in return.

Her mother was no such person.

No person like that existed.

Even if they did, and had, she would never be able to find him for all of humanity was gone and lost in the red pool that lay before her.

Unless—

Unless that person was Shinji Ikari, which was not for he has shown himself to her as a spineless, guinea pig of a person.

But what if the robotic one had been hiding, as she had, underneath his heart's barrier, in his own world where only he was.

It was safe there.

He would like it there.

Hastily, Asuka clambered to her feet, brushing her fingertips in the vast sea of liquid before her.

It was at a warm temperature, comforting if she was to speak at that time.

A smile breaking the solemn frown, she started back on her path where she had walked before. Then, she was getting away from hedgehog boy.

But now, she was returning. Returning to break the shield that was wavering, and enter Shinji's world.

Eve was approaching Adam.


End file.
